One Word for 2014: Joy

On one recent occasion when I remorsefully apologized for essentially blowing up at my four-year-old for being an annoying, over-tired, wired and immature little human boy, E. nodded and mmm-hmmmed as I listed my transgressions. Then he spoke soft prophet-words: the way to not be bad is to just relax (pronounced wuh-lax, in case you were wondering).

I’ve been turning those words over and over in my head the past couple weeks, considering them from different angles as I’ve reflected on goals and what kinds of changes I want to make. Relax wasn’t the exact word I wanted to focus on for this year, a’ la Oneword365, but it lead me to a few.  The word I keep circling back to, though, as I consider a central theme for this year is joy.

Some broad-strokes for how I want this word Joy to color 2014:

I want to not stress out so much, to relax into the joy of being with my little ones.

I want them to remember me smiling, rather than scowling, in their young years, to have a deep, abiding sense of being delighted in and loved for who they are.

I struggle with discontent; I want not only to find God’s grace in each moment but also take joy in every circumstance.

I want to clear away the extraneous, the clutter and dross–physical, mental, and emotional–that are obstacles to nurturing my relationships and doing the things I enjoy.

Taking care of myself is a challenge and sometimes, I hate to admit, a chore as a mama of littles. I want to revive some of the ways of self-care that have brought me joy in the past, as well as find new ones in this season.

Cooking and food has not involved much joy lately, a result of the combination of too much information, too many choices, and too little energy.  I want to worry less, and eat with joy.

Joy seems like a good antidote to perfectionism, and I want my goals to be process-focused as I learn, grow, and practice this year; however much or little I accomplish or produce, I will take joy in the process, knowing my Heavenly Father sings over me with joy.

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Bloom

Reflecting on new beginnings with a poem from my days of new-motherhood:

Bloom

Love made manifest,
wrapped in a crimson
towel on the bed, cheeks
pinked like freshly scrubbed
apples. Rosy golden,
with a bloom
on the pristine skin.

My life new, too,
in this moment,
as though the morning
dawned at 5 in the afternoon.

What I’m Into: December 2013

I’m participating again in the What I’m Into series.  Here’s my mostly-books edition of highlights for the month of December.

Reading:

Dinner: A Love Story:  Jenny Rosenstrach chronicles her journey from newly-wed to experienced mom through learning to cook.  I enjoyed the way this memoir/cookbook used quite an eclectic variety of formats (letters, diagrams, memos, traditionally formatted recipes, lists, “conversational” recipe format, and so on) to relate her experience (perfect, by the way, for keeping in the bathroom for flipping through while the tikes bathed).  I especially related with the strategies for expanding kids’ palates, and appreciated the perspective of someone who had made it through the challenges of dinnertime in the “little years.” It encouraged me, once again, that time and maturity will do their work.  I got some good ideas for dinners, though the only recipe I tried (Green Fries, essentially breaded zucchini) was just ok in my opinion.

A Year of Learning Dangerously, Quinn Cummings: This is the only book I truly finished this month.  A former child actor, Cummings is also a writer and entrepreneur who decides to homeschool her elementary-aged daughter.  From her descriptions of her own  quirks to accounts of crashing a fundamentalist homeschoolers’ convention, this book was just plain hilarious.  But Cummings is also a sharp, literary writer who clearly loves words.  Irreverent and and yet ultimately respectful of all the various tribes united by the common commitment to home education.  An entertaining and thought-provoking read, not just for homeschoolers, or even parents, for that matter.

Love in a Time of Homeschooling, Laura Brodie:  The other homeschool memoir I picked up this month, I’m only half-finished with this one.  Brodie, a professor of English, pulls her daughter out of school for a “sabbatical,” with the intention of giving her a year of educational renewal before she starts middle school.  An interesting and inspiring look at another of the many ways homeschooling can take shape.

Watch for the Light: This was my first time with a book of Advent readings, and I read about a third of them.  An eclectic collection, featuring poetry, essays, and fiction excerpts, from such a wide range of writers.  This was a great discovery–challenging and provoking– this year as I thought more deeply about Advent and Christmas.  The Kathleen Norris and Henri Nouwen essays were particular favorites.

Our Fave Children’s books this month:

The Long, Long Line, Tomoko Ohmura: both kids enjoyed this one, but the toddler especially loved the queue of animals waiting for we-don’t-know-what until the end, which is really imaginative and fun.

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The Lorax: I somehow missed this Dr. Seuss book growing up.  A couple readings into it with E., he declared it a favorite.  It is a kind of melancholy book, but with a glimmer of hope at the end.  The Lorax “speaks for the trees” and creatures in his beloved home, which are being destroyed by the greedy Once-ler’s business.  This was great springboard for talking about greed, stewardship of creation, and the importance of relationship over things.  In this book more than others of Dr. Seuss’ I have read, he seems to be channeling Lewis Carroll; I’ve always had a soft spot for made-up words like “gruvvulous,” “snergely,” and “biggering.”  This last word is incredibly useful.  One caveat: I did censor a couple phrases as I went, along the lines of s-t-u-p-i-d, since my preschoolers are not yet ready to use those words responsibly.

A Giraffe and a Half: A Shel Silverstein book I wasn’t familiar with, but the kids predictably loved, with its litany of repetition, rhyme and silliness.

Happenings:

We had a lovely and simple Christmas, just the four of us.  Q didn’t have enough time off to travel anywhere, and we enjoyed keeping it simple.  The kids, till now, have been blessedly unaffected by the commercialism of the holidays; they really didn’t have any expectations, although after a couple different people gave them presents before Christmas day, even the one-year-old was hip to what those packages that appeared under the tree were for.  We had a very nontraditional simple dinner of mahi mahi with roasted red peppers and roasted potatoes, and my favorite moment was singing “Silent Night” with the kids.

Looking forward to a fresh start for this New Year!

Grace to Show Up: a Guest Post for A Feast of Crumbs

I wrote a guest post for my good friend Emily Luna’s wonderful blog, A Feast of Crumbs, where she chronicles her spiritual journey one breadcrumb at a time.

I feel like I keep failing the Sunday morning test. The one where I’m supposed to get myself and the two kids ready and out the door for church without yogurt smears on my skirt or sweet potatoes caked in their hair, and without going all Crazy-Mom on the four-year old when he strips his pants and underwear off to go potty and will not be wrangled back into them 20 minutes past our departure goal. The one where I’m supposed to show up on time…

Head over to her blog to read the rest, and while you’re there, check out Emily’s beautiful writing, too!